kepPNW wrote: ↑April 23rd, 2018, 12:30 pmWhich? What Guy's saying, or what you're saying?obera wrote: ↑April 23rd, 2018, 9:13 amNobody should take anything how you want them to take it. People have the right to interpret their surroundings how they do. Some might say this is mansplaining.Guy wrote: ↑April 21st, 2018, 5:24 pmExactly some people men more than women I think just communicate this way regardless of if they are talking to another man or a woman. Personally I think if the intention is good without malice or condescending tone then they should be accepted as such and taken without offense.
I've always said, "People need to earn my disrespect." I respect them by default. If that's what everyone did, this conversation probably wouldn't be happening, right? I think that's not too far off from what Guy's saying, there, albeit not so directly. The "should" probably rubbed wrong, as it well could outside a friendly face to face encounter. But as a general rule of thumb, I find I get a lot less irritated with humanity in general, if I presume the benefit of the doubt on their part. That what they really meant really wasn't so lame as how it may have come out! (Particularly online!) It's hard, sometimes near-impossibly so, but it does save endless grief in the long run.
Ahh, well, I just roll with it. Kids these days, huh? Passed 23 of them on my way up Silver Star yesterday, arriving on top all alone, despite the TH being absolutely full of parked cars when I arrived. Let 'em eat my dust.
It's what men do. Even (especially?) to other men.
And, to be sure, while I don't mean to make light of any of this, it does seem that intense focus on the differences that divide us mostly serve to reinforce those divisions. That's the central conundrum here... Finding the balance that actually moves things forward rather than makes them worse.
We do seem to be going in circles. People can see themselves in the 'unsolicited advice' group or not. I'll refrain from bringing up 'toxic masculinity'
"It's what men do" sounds a lot like 'boys will be boys'. It's how society explains away bad behavior. Or, how about this one - he's a nice guy who made a mistake - any number of white men who have sexually assaulted people and gotten off. This one is a slippery slope.